^Exactly.
For like a week or so there, whenever I would see a pregnant woman, I actually got jealous. JEALOUS. So weird…I felt like I was going crazy. I even confessed to one of my co-workers and she said that was normal, just my maternal instinct kicking in. Especially at my age.
Well, I think I’m finally coming to my senses. Marriage. Babies. The whole overwhelming fascination with the two ideas has burned out, I’m pretty sure. THANK GOODNESS.
Push it away.
i like my body when it is with your body. It is so quite a new thing. Muscles better and nerves more. i like your body. i like what it does, i like its hows. i like to feel the spine of your body and its bones, and the trembling -firm-smooth ness and which i will again and again and again kiss, i like kissing this and that of you, i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes over parting flesh . . . . And eyes big love-crumbs, and possibly i like the thrill of under me you quite so new
-EE Cummings
My favorite poet. Ever.
Awwww, he looks like such a little big person!!! He dresses better than most men I know, ha!
Also, while I’m at it…I’ve been looking at a lot of quote sites lately for daily uplifting. I found this the other day and since it fits pretty nicely with this post…
Wise words.
It’s as easy as slipping into bed but just as hard to get out of. I haven’t quite been myself. Not that I dislike myself at all but there are certain things that I’m not happy with…not anything completely terrible but I decided I need to focus on becoming a better person and leave these few icky things behind. If I don’t like something, I need to do something about it. My life is short and I like being happy and making others happy. I feel like I’ve been selfish at times, not to hurt feelings, but in effort to find my happiness and my path…because I don’t want to miss out on the right thing. Well, it’s not fair to anyone. I can still be totally open and real and find that happy path. Underneath all the mysterious exterior and sassy remarks, I have a huge heart that would love on the whole world if I could. Well, ok, for all the people in it that don’t suck! ;)
I’ve pushed myself to make as much effort as possible with the one thing in my life that has played a big role in weakening my well-being and I’m happier because of it. [It seems to be getting better.] That said, I have no one to blame but myself. I realize that and I’m turning myself around. I love life. I’m a fan of truth. I appreciate so much around me. Happiness is the most important thing in the world. Good friends. Good times. I like that in me and I don’t like feeling otherwise. Or being otherwise. People used to ALWAYS tell me how much they admired how strong and optimistic I am. I loved hearing that and tonight I stand on my way back to that.
Any kind of relationship…I don’t care what kind, whether it be friendly, romantic, family, whatever…is a condition in which the other persons happiness is essential to your own. This is my new mantra and I hope to carry it in my heart and apply it from here on out, giving and receiving. A one-sided version isn’t going to cut it in my life anymore.
I’m not mad, I’m not hurt, I’m not anything or the sort. I’m not targeting anyone in particular…or any event for that matter. I just feel like I need a good cleansing of the soul. Now, I’m not going mushy or naive or going to be walked over BY ANY MEANS but I am going to be a smarter, happier, healthier person. Even more than I already am.
I’ve made some mistakes, allowed some thing to break me down so much as to cry more than I’ve ever cried in my 24 years of breathing [I do appreciate everything you’ve ever helped me out with or done for me so nothing in this blog is meant to be read any other way!], left my career path back in July for a better/chance of a lifetime legit opportunity to obtain that career that I need to stop kicking around rocks and do it already [because I’ve been nervous about leaving people behind. Roanoke will still be here when I’m through and if those people are my friends/care, well they will be too.], been too open about my feelings, lied about, lied to, lied, or just plain left out the truth. I’m not perfect. I’m human. And as long as I acknowledge bad experiences and profit from them, I am growing, and that is good.
Time to get back on track and push myself to excel. In every way. I have one life and I want to look back and be able to be happy about it.
I don’t care about my reputation but I care very much about my character.
“Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.” — Roger Babson
Into, under, far in between, through it, in it, and above…I am leveling up. ;)
xo
Love ridden, I’ve looked at you
With the focus I gave to my birthday candles
I’ve wished on the lidded blue flames
Under your brow
And baby, I wished for you
Nobody sees when you are lying in your bed
And I wanna crawl in with you
But I cry instead
I want your warm, but it will only make
Me colder when it’s over
So I can’t tonight, baby
No, not baby’ anymore - if I need you
I’ll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we’ll only have to wave
My hand won’t hold you down no more
The path is clear to follow through
I stood too long in the way of the door
And now I’m giving up on you
No, not baby’ anymore - if I need you
I’ll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we’ll only have to wave
No, not baby’ anymore - if I need you
I’ll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we’ll only have to wave
Listening to so much Fiona Apple.
